Have you ever found yourself replaying a hurtful incident over and over in your mind, each time feeling the sting of betrayal just as sharply as the first time? Whether it’s a thoughtless comment from a friend, a deep wound from a family member, or even a slight from a stranger, offense has a way of gripping our hearts and minds, leaving us trapped in a cycle of pain and bitterness.

Overcoming offense is like navigating a field full of hidden landmines. One wrong step, and it explodes, shattering our peace and poisoning our relationships. It’s a silent killer, eroding our joy and stealing our ability to trust and love freely. But here’s the powerful truth: we don’t have to live this way.

The stakes are high. Offense doesn’t just hurt us; it can destroy us. I’ve seen it firsthand. A dear friend of mine, unable to overcome the bitterness that had taken root in his heart, tragically ended his life. The offense he harbored consumed him, leaving him in a pit of despair from which he couldn’t escape. His story is a stark reminder of the destructive power of unaddressed offense, and it fuels my passion to help others find a way out.

I understand the weight of offense all too well. I, too, found myself in a darkened state at a young age, feeling trapped and unable to find my way out. The pain and bitterness consumed me, and I saw no other escape but to end my life. But by the grace of God, I found a way through the darkness. His light broke through my despair, guiding me towards healing and hope. It is my deepest prayer that others can find that same light, leading them out of the shadows of offense and into the bright, peaceful future God has in store for them.

In Luke 17:1, Jesus says, “It is impossible that no offenses should come, but woe to him through whom they do come!” This verse is a sobering reminder that offenses are an inevitable part of life. Jesus acknowledges that we will face situations that have the potential to offend us, but He also warns us about the serious consequences of causing offense. This dual acknowledgment serves as both a caution and a call to be vigilant in how we handle offense—both in receiving and in avoiding causing it.

Understanding the roots of offense is crucial. Often, offense stems from unmet expectations. We place high expectations on others, sometimes unrealistically so, and when they fail to meet them, we feel hurt and betrayed. These expectations set us up for disappointment and resentment, trapping us in a cycle of bitterness. Proverbs 13:12 tells us, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life.” This verse highlights how unmet expectations can lead to emotional pain.

Setting healthy boundaries is another essential step. Boundaries protect us from further hurt while allowing us to heal. They enable us to interact with others in a way that is respectful and loving, without leaving ourselves vulnerable to repeated offense. Proverbs 4:23 advises, “Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.” This scripture emphasizes the importance of guarding our hearts.

Compassion is a powerful antidote to offense. When we cultivate compassion, we begin to see others through a lens of understanding and empathy. We recognize that everyone has their own struggles and pain, and their actions are often a reflection of their inner turmoil, not a personal attack on us. Colossians 3:12-13 encourages us, “Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.”

Living with humility and submission to God’s Word is also key. Humility helps us to let go of our pride and our need to be right. It allows us to approach conflicts with a spirit of reconciliation rather than retaliation. Submission to God’s Word provides a solid foundation for our actions and responses, guiding us towards forgiveness and love. James 4:10 states, “Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.”

Forgiveness is perhaps the most profound lesson in dealing with offense. Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness; it’s the ultimate power move. It frees us from the chains of our past and opens the door to healing and restoration. The story of Philemon and Onesimus in the Bible is a powerful example of forgiveness and redemption, illustrating the incredible sacrifice Jesus made for us. Ephesians 4:31-32 instructs, “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”

At every step of our journey, we must lean on the guidance and strength of the Holy Spirit. His presence is our compass, leading us toward peace and wholeness. He is the quiet voice that convicts us, the comforter that heals us, and the power that enables us to forgive and love beyond our human capacity. John 14:26 reassures us, “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you.”

Breaking free from the chains of offense is not an easy journey, but it is a transformative one. By embracing repentance, forgiveness, and reconciliation, and by relying on the Holy Spirit, we can overcome the pain of offense and step into a life of peace and freedom. Let’s break free from the chains of offense and step into the abundant life of forgiveness and peace that God has promised us.

—Josh Mullins—

© Joshua Mullins 2024

The Gladiator’s Mask: Hiding The Face of Hurt https://a.co/d/jbGYGJu