I have a deep-seated fear that I only recently recognized: the fear of being forgotten. Not just as a family man, but as the writer, the poet, and the heart that drives my passions. I want my life to count, and I want my truest self—my gifts—to leave a footprint.

Years ago in Oklahoma, a simple moment at a convenience store unlocked a profound spiritual lesson. I was buying two expensive gallons of milk. As I placed them in my truck, I heard a clear voice: “It would be a shame if that milk would spoil and expire before you got it home.” At the time, milk was nearly five dollars a gallon, so it was treated like gold. The Lord’s lesson was powerful: He has placed incredibly valuable gifts—passions, talents, and unique insights—inside all of us. He warned that too many people expire—they die—before they ever let the world taste or experience those gifts.

“I placed value in you and gifts in you for this world, for you to make a difference, to shine,” He told me. “I don’t want you to expire full. I want you to pour your gifts out and let everybody enjoy them.”

Honestly, I’ve felt like I’ve failed that command sometimes. Every time I try to pour out my passions, it feels like nobody’s bringing their cup. My words feel like they fall to the ground and rot, unheard. It hurts to feel like your voice isn’t making a difference.

This quest to pour out my gifts is why SUBVIOLET exists. It’s my new Dark-Pop/Synthwave music project, only three months old, focused on creating cinematic, high-energy soundtracks. The name itself reflects this mission:

• “VIOLET” represents creativity, intuition, and high vibration—the intense, promised light. It’s the Neon-Noirglow.
• “SUB” means hidden, beneath, or approaching. It speaks to the subconscious thoughts and the valuable gifts hidden inside.

Together, SUBVIOLET means “The passion and light found beneath the surface.” It’s the process of bringing what’s hidden into the visible world, hence, “The Violet Noise.”

My Writing is a Universal Puzzle

This post is universal because my writing itself is a reflection of my complexity. While many stick to one niche, I guess I’m a puzzle that resists a single label. I just write what’s on my heart, and that leads me to explore many different styles and genres: from the lyrics in my SUBVIOLET music to poetry, devotions, Bible lessons, and simple short stories.

This is also why my music has a unique tone. Some might ask: Why write music like this if you’re a Christian?

The answer is rooted in honesty and authenticity. The Dark-Pop/Synthwave genre is a soundtrack for the full human experience. Life isn’t always bright; it has shadows, struggles, and late-night introspection. I choose a ‘darker,’ moodier style because it’s the most effective vehicle for conveying those honest, raw emotions within the lyrics. I know I am far from perfect; I am always being worked on and always ready to go deeper.

It might seem weird to some, but writing is how I process feelings and learn how to address them through the Word of God. We see throughout the Bible that men and women of faith struggled, walked through darkness, and eventually found victory. My music and my writing aim to reflect that unfiltered truth.

I am not writing music for the darkness; I am writing music about the journey through it, with a message of hope in the lyrics. My mission is to continue sharing the stories and the heart of SUBVIOLET. I will not expire full. I will keep pouring until the jug is empty, trusting that the right cups will find their way to the table.

—Joshua L Mullins