A few years ago, during a difficult season in my life, the Lord spoke to me through Romans 12:18, and it completely changed how I approach conflict. The verse says: “If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.” In that moment, it felt like God was telling me directly, “Do everything you can to make peace happen.” That hit hard because it made me realize that peace starts with me, not with waiting for the other person to make the first move or apologize.

Recently, this verse has been coming back to me repeatedly. Whether it’s conflicts in our personal lives, arguments online, or tensions at family gatherings, it feels like people are constantly at odds with each other. But God’s command to live in peace hasn’t changed. In fact, now more than ever, we need to lean into that call.

So, how do we live out this scripture? How do we actually live peaceably with everyone, even when it feels like the world is determined to stay divided? Let’s break down Romans 12:18 and explore some practical ways to apply it to our lives.

Breaking Down Romans 12:18 – A Deeper Understanding

Romans 12:18 (KJV):
“If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.”

Each part of this verse gives us specific guidance on how to handle relationships and conflict. Let’s break it down piece by piece and get to the heart of its message.

1. “If it be possible”

Paul begins by saying “If it be possible.” This is important because it acknowledges that peace isn’t always easy or guaranteed. Sometimes, no matter how much we try, peace won’t be the final result. We might want to reconcile, but the other person might not be ready. People may hold onto their hurt, bitterness, or simply refuse to engage.

Paul is telling us that peace is the goal, but he’s also being realistic. He knows that not every situation can be fixed immediately. That’s why he says, “If it be possible”—because peace may not always be achievable, but it’s still worth striving for. We are called to pursue peace as much as we can, even if it doesn’t work out in every case.

2. “As much as lieth in you”

This part of the verse makes it clear that we are responsible for our part in making peace happen. “As much as lieth in you” means “as far as it depends on you.” It’s a direct call to take personal responsibility. We may not be able to control how others act or react, but we can control what we say, how we behave, and how we approach conflict.

This doesn’t mean avoiding tough conversations or pretending that everything is okay when it’s not. But it does mean that in every situation, we need to do our part to create peace. We must be willing to forgive, to listen, and to humble ourselves. We are responsible for making sure that, from our side, peace is the goal.

3. “Live peaceably with all men”

The toughest part of this verse is the final command: “live peaceably with all men.”

This isn’t just about being kind to people we like or getting along with those who agree with us. Paul is talking about everyone—including those who disagree with us, those who frustrate us, and even those who have hurt us. He’s calling us to seek peace, even in the hardest of relationships.

This doesn’t mean we ignore boundaries or stay in toxic situations, but it does mean that we approach every relationship with the heart of a peacemaker. This is challenging because it goes against our natural instinct to defend ourselves, to prove we’re right, or to hold onto grudges. But this is exactly what God calls us to do.

Why Is Peace So Hard?

Let’s face it: living in peace with others isn’t easy. We live in a world where arguments and conflicts seem to pop up at every turn. It’s easy to fall into the trap of trying to prove ourselves right, to defend our opinions, and to react out of anger or frustration. Whether it’s disagreements over politics, opinions shared on social media, or even personal misunderstandings, we often feel the need to “win” an argument.

But peace isn’t about winning. In fact, one of the biggest obstacles to peace is our desire to always be right. Instead of listening to understand, we listen to respond. We want to make sure the other person knows where they’re wrong. This approach only leads to more conflict and division.

The Bible warns us against this. One term used in scripture is reviling, which means to insult or attack someone with harsh words. It’s what we see often in heated arguments—when instead of calmly discussing a disagreement, we resort to name-calling, sarcasm, or belittling the other person. But reviling never leads to peace. It only makes the conflict worse.

Jesus shows us a better way.

Jesus: The Ultimate Example of Peace

When we look at how Jesus handled conflict, we see something radically different. In 1 Peter 2:23, we read, “Who, when He was reviled, reviled not again; when He suffered, He threatened not; but committed Himself to Him that judgeth righteously.”

Jesus was insulted, mocked, and attacked, yet He didn’t retaliate. He didn’t fire back insults, even when He had every right to. Instead, He trusted God to handle the situation. Jesus teaches us that peace isn’t about defending ourselves or getting the last word. It’s about trusting God with the outcome and responding with love and grace.

This example sets a high standard for us, but it also shows us that peace is possible, even in the most challenging situations.

How Do We Live Peaceably? Practical Steps to Pursue Peace

So, how do we live out Romans 12:18? How do we actually live peaceably with everyone, especially when things feel difficult or tense? Here are some practical steps to take:

1. Start with Prayer
   Before you enter into any difficult conversation or situation, pray. Philippians 4:6-7 reminds us to “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Prayer centers us and invites God’s peace into our hearts. When we pray, we invite God to guide our words and actions, helping us to respond with patience and love rather than anger or frustration.
2. Let Go of the Need to Be Right
   One of the biggest obstacles to peace is our need to be right. Proverbs 15:1 tells us, “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” Sometimes the key to peace is being willing to let go of the argument. Instead of focusing on proving our point, we can choose to respond gently and with kindness. This doesn’t mean we ignore truth, but it means we value the relationship more than the need to win the argument.
3. Forgive Quickly
   Ephesians 4:32 encourages us to “be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” Holding onto grudges and unforgiveness creates bitterness in our hearts and prevents peace from flourishing. Forgiveness is a necessary step toward peace, both in our relationships and within ourselves. It’s not always easy, but when we choose to forgive, we let go of the burden of anger and make room for reconciliation.
4. Be Willing to Apologize
   Sometimes, the hardest but most necessary step toward peace is apologizing when we’ve wronged someone. Proverbs 28:13 reminds us, “He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.” A sincere apology can break down walls of resentment and open the door for healing. Owning our mistakes shows humility and can restore peace in relationships that feel broken.
5. See Others Through God’s Eyes
   Lastly, learning to see others the way God sees them changes everything. Every person we encounter is made in the image of God, loved and valued by Him. When we view people through this lens, it becomes easier to respond with grace, even in moments of conflict. We start to care more about the person than the argument, and this shift in perspective helps us pursue peace more naturally.

The Importance of Living in Peace

Pursuing peace is more than just avoiding arguments or keeping the peace for the sake of avoiding discomfort. It’s about reflecting the heart of God. In Matthew 5:9, Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.” When we strive to live in peace with others, we reflect the love and grace of God to the world. Peace is a way we witness to others about the transformative power of Christ.

Living in peace doesn’t mean every situation will resolve perfectly. There will be times when peace isn’t possible, no matter how hard we try. But that doesn’t mean we stop trying. We do our part, trusting God to handle the rest.

The next time you find yourself in a conflict, remember Romans 12:18. As much as lieth in you, do your part to pursue peace with others. Take responsibility for your actions, let go of the need to be right, and trust God to bring healing and resolution. Peace may not always be easy, but it is always worth striving for.

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—Joshua L Mullins