“Every empty apology starts as a stumbling block, and with each insincere sorry, another brick is added, building a wall of mistrust and frustration.” — Joshua L Mullins

Consider your daily interactions. How often do you say “I’m sorry” to fix misunderstandings, mistakes, or hurt feelings? It’s a common part of human interactions. But how often do you consider what an apology truly means? Is saying “sorry” enough, or is there more to it? A real apology goes beyond just words. It involves action and a sincere desire to make things right.

Saying “sorry” is important, but it quickly loses its meaning if not backed by real actions. A true apology is more than just words; it’s a promise to do better and recognize the hurt caused. When “sorry” becomes a habit without any real change in behavior, it becomes empty and insincere.

People who always apologize but don’t change their actions are hiding behind their words. Their apologies are like a temporary fix, covering up the real problems without solving them. This cycle of hurt and fake repair can lead to frustration and broken relationships, as the person who is hurt realizes that the words are meaningless and the promises are empty.

A true apology is a mix of feeling sorry and deciding to change. It’s about admitting the wrong, feeling genuine regret, and most importantly, taking steps to make sure it doesn’t happen again. This kind of apology requires thinking about one’s actions and being willing to change.

Think about the story of Zacchaeus in the Bible (Luke 19:1-10 KJV). When Jesus visited his home, Zacchaeus didn’t just say he was sorry for his wrongs. He took action by giving half of his wealth to the poor and paying back those he had cheated four times the amount. His actions showed that he truly wanted to change.

For example, if someone is always late and apologizes each time without trying to be on time, their apologies lose value. But if they start setting reminders and planning better to be on time, their actions support their words. This change shows respect and a real desire to improve.

James 2:17 (KJV) says, “Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone.” This verse highlights that faith must be shown through actions to be real. Similarly, an apology must be backed by real change to be meaningful.

Trust is the foundation of any relationship, whether personal or professional. When actions match words, it builds trust and respect. Repeated apologies without change can damage trust, making it hard for relationships to survive. An apology without action is like building a wall; each insincere sorry adds another brick, creating a barrier of mistrust and frustration. Over time, these empty apologies can erode the foundation of any relationship, leading to feelings of resentment and disillusionment.

I know this from personal experience. The words “sorry” and “love” became meaningless to me because my abuser used them without changing their behavior. They would continually unleash their wrath and hatred toward me physically and emotionally. As they were beating me with their words and fists, they would say, “I’m sorry, I love you,” with each blow. This wasn’t just a one-time thing; it was deeply embedded and repeated countless times by the same person. Those words became negative for me. Anytime someone would say “God is love,” I cringed. I associated those words with hurt, pain, and lies. When someone would tell me they were sorry, it felt empty to me. It seemed like “sorry” was often used to dampen the situation and lessen the repercussions of one’s actions, a temporary façade to hide behind.

If you find yourself receiving empty apologies repeatedly, it is crucial to recognize this pattern and take steps to address it constructively. Having an open and honest conversation with the person can help. Express how their repeated apologies without change affect you. Use “I” statements to avoid sounding accusatory, such as, “I feel hurt and disappointed when you apologize but don’t change your behavior.”

Clearly define what behaviors are unacceptable and what changes you need to see. Setting boundaries can help protect your emotional well-being and signal to the other person that their actions have consequences. Make it clear that apologies alone are not enough. Emphasize the need for actions that show real regret and a commitment to change.

Give the person time to show that they are willing to change. Change doesn’t happen overnight, but consistent efforts over time can rebuild trust. If the pattern of empty apologies continues without any effort to change, it may be necessary to rethink the relationship. Sometimes, distancing yourself from a toxic relationship is necessary for your own well-being.

True apologies are seen in actions, not just heard in words. Each insincere “sorry” builds a wall, but true actions are the tools that can break it down. By focusing on genuine repentance and consistent change, you can transform your relationships and create a lasting bond of peace.

Let your life be a testament to the power of true repentance. Show through your actions that you are committed to making things right. In doing so, you not only rebuild trust but also inspire others to do the same. Break down those walls with your actions, and build bridges of trust, love, and peace.

— Joshua L Mullins